LOVE: WHY DO WE REBEL AGAINST IT?

Do you ever rebel against love?

Do you think that it is good for you to love other people? How often do you think that God wants you to take a break from loving other people? Is it good to get impatient, frustrated or angry toward other people? Can you remember having a bad reaction toward someone in the past year? Why do you think you had that bad reaction? Ponder this a moment before reading further.   

Haley’s Conversation of Surprises

Recently Haley stopped by the free book table at USU and joined conversation with Kyle and me. Both spoke like active Mormons. I commonly get at our rebellion and our need for Christ by asking about a person's experience of struggling to love others. Here is the sense of our conversation that revealed to her surprises in her heart (understanding). This reflects very many conversations I have had the past 2 years. 

Read along as if you were Haley.

Me: Do you ever struggle in loving others?

Haley: Sometimes.

Me: Do you know why you struggle?

Haley: I am an imperfect person.

Me: That sounds like an excuse to me. I know why you have done every evil thing you have ever done. You know it too but don't realize that you know it. Would you like to hear what I mean?

Haley: Yes, I would.

Me: It is easier to understand this matter if we evaluate our experience. Theoretical conversation often leaves us confused. Here is a simple example that has helped me. 

The sun and moon illustration

Me: The sun and moon both light our world, but shine for different reasons. What is the difference?

Haley: The sun has its own light, but the moon only reflects the light from the sun.

Me: How much light of its own does the moon have?

Haley: None.

Me: Even though the moon has no light of its own it does a good job lighting our world. We get the benefit. The moon’s role is to be a reflector of light. The sun's role is to be a source of light. Isn't this what we learned in school?

Haley: Yes

Me: I suggest that this can help us understand our role in life. God is good. He is the source of all goodness and created the world in a good way to display his goodness. He created us in his image to be in a good relationship with him where we would live in his goodness and shine out his goodness in all directions. This keeps pride out of life. Do you like this illustration?

Haley: Yes, it makes sense to me.

Me: There is a difference between the moon and us. The moon is not a person. Light simply reflects off of its surface. The moon doesn’t think about it. But we are people who live from the heart. God’s goodness and love flow from our hearts while we are properly focused on his love and goodness. 

How do we shine out God's love?

Me: Here is how it works. Can you think of a recent time when you got irritated, impatient or frustrated with someone?  We all have these experiences.

Haley: I am thinking of one.

Me: Don't tell me about it. Just keep that experience in mind.

Haley: Okay.

Me: Let’s start simple. Do you believe in God?

Haley: Yes.

Me: Do you believe that God is love?

Haley: Yes.

Me: Do you believe that God showed his love by sending Jesus to die for your sins?

Haley: Yes.

Me: For all your sins?

Haley: Yes.

Me: So, all your sins are forgiven?

Haley: Yes.

Me: That is wonderful. Do you ever beat yourself up for your failures? 

Haley: Very often. 

Me: Is God's love only for you or for other people, too?

Haley: God loves everyone and Jesus died for everyone. 

Me: Did Jesus die so that everyone could be completely forgiven?

Haley: Yes.

Me: We are on the same page. Go back to your experience of being irritated. Does God love that person and did Jesus die to take away all that person's sins?

Haley: Yes.

Me: Are you sure?

Haley: Positive.

Me: While you were irritated at that person, were you thinking about how much God loved her and that Jesus died to forgive all her sins?

Haley: (with a surprised look) No, I wasn't, but I should have been.

Me: Everyone tells me that. They should have been thinking love but weren't. 

The experience of remembering Jesus' death for sinners

Let's say that one day you were praying for that person who gets under your skin and thanking God for loving her and sending Jesus to die to take away all her sins. And let's say that while you were praying this way, the woman came up to you and did the thing that often irritates you. While you were praying or thinking this, do you think that you would have gotten irritated? 

Haley: (in surprise) No, not while I was thinking that. But I might forget easily.

Me: Isn't that interesting. While you are thinking of God's love, you don't get irritated. I have asked many people about this and they all describe the same experience. 

The experience of seeing people properly

Me: There is one other surprise about Jesus that helps us understand our experience of not loving others. Is it good for you to look down on me so that you can feel good about yourself?

Haley: No.

Me: Is it good for me to look down on you so that I can feel good about myself?

Haley: You should not do it either. No one should, but everybody does it.

Me: That is painful but true. Then how should we compare ourselves?

Haley: We should look up and compare ourselves to Jesus.

Me: That is good to do, but our pride doesn’t like it. Is it ever okay to lower the standard from Jesus?

Haley: No. We should never do that.

Me: I agree with you completely. Go back to your experience of irritation. While you were irritated, were you comparing that person to Jesus?

Haley: (in surprise) No. I was thinking about what she did wrong.

The experience of forgetting love

Me: You simply forgot that your place in life was to see that God manages her through love. The situation needed to be managed and you took matters into your own hands, lowering the standard and managing her through rules. It gets ugly when we do this. And we do this more that we realize. Our bad reactions always have this same cause. Jesus reveals the love of God through his perfection and death in our place. While we are remembering these two things, God's management through love overflows from our hearts. And it works this way for everyone else too.

Why is it easy to forget love?

Me: Here is the reason that we so easily forget God’s way. Go back to our illustration of the sun and moon. The moon shines brightly unless something happens. What can stop the moon from shining? 

Haley: When there is an eclipse. 

Me: For us the problem is different. No one else can block light from us. But we can self-eclipse. we can block the light from ourselves by forgetting our proper place of dependence on God’s goodness and love. We are made in God’s image and feel deeply his imprint that it is good to be a source of goodness. But that is his role in life. It isn’t yours, or mine or anyone else’s. We thrive when we are satisfied with our role as receivers of love and goodness. While we are satisfied this way, we overflow properly with his love and goodness to those around us, even while they are causing us trouble. But when we get tricked into forgetting our role, then we can have bad reactions.

The experience of self-condemnation

Let’s go back to something you said earlier. You said that Jesus died for you and that you are completely forgiven. Am I remembering correctly?

Haley: Yes, that is true.

Me: Has Jesus taken all your condemnation, shame, and guilt?

Haley: YesHH

Me: Has he taken all your beatings?

Haley: Yes

Me: It sound like you believe that Jesus is enough for you for all of life.

Haley: He is enough for me.

Me: I really like what you are saying. But if Jesus is enough for you for everything, and has taken all your beatings, condemnation, and shame, then why did you tell me that you often beat yourself up for your failings?

Haley: (surprised and embarrassed) I don’t know.

Me: (smiling) You forgot Jesus and in forgetting Jesus you tried to do his job. You were pretending to be God. This is really bad. Jesus took all your beatings and you believed the lie that there are some left for you to carry. Right?

Haley: (smiling) Yes

A testimony of how we experience change

Me: It is not good to believe this lie but we all do sometimes. I suggest that you are too weak to change, but there is hope because God wants to change you. Your job is simple—to trust him to do it by you remembering who Jesus is for you. The most natural way to remember is to pray without asking. Here is a testimony I wrote about my friend Pat, who was diagnosed with three mental illnesses and was nearly always super depressed. He read the Bible much and memorized many verses, but couldn’t escape his depression. He was so depressed that some people felt depressed just being around him. After many years of seeking to encourage him, in 2000 I gave him a piece of paper containing four Bible verses simplified into a prayer of thankfulness for who Jesus is for him. I told him to pray that daily. He said he couldn’t because it was too hard. But he somehow began to pray it. After five months he began to smile and now after 18 years he is consistently cheerful and seeks out discouraged people to encourage them. Please take a copy and follow his simple example. Pray as often as you want, thanking God for what you told me is true. Don’t ask for anything. Just thank God something like this. “Father, thank you that Jesus is enough for me for all of life. Thank you that Jesus carries all my sins. Thank you that Jesus has taken all my shame, guilt and beatings.” As the months go by you may notice that your mind more easily goes to what Jesus has done for you.

The beauty of self-honesty

Haley: I have been thanking God for my family, friends and church…

(beginning to cry) but I have forgotten to thank him for what Jesus has done for me.

Me:  Don’t beat yourself up. Simply start today thanking God for who Jesus is for you. He is enough for you for all of life.

Haley: Please may I take Pat’s story?

Me: Yes of course. You likely know someone else who struggles with self-condemnation, with whom you could share the story after you begin practicing it. We need each other. I am glad for our conversation. I am here on Wednesdays in good weather. Feel free to come downtown to Oasis Books inside the Great Harvest Bakery if you want to talk on other days.

Note: Haley left happy, with two books and Pat’s testimony.

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND LOVE?

"Brad is patient, Brad is kind, Brad is not envious; Brad does not brag and is not arrogant; Brad does not act unbecomingly; Brad does not seek his own; Brad is not provoked; Brad does not take into account a wrong suffered; Brad does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth; Brad bears all things; Brad believes all things; Brad hopes all things; Brad endures all things. Brad never fails." 

-1Cor. 13:4-8, with my name substituted for love

The above is absurd. It would still be absurd if you put your name in the place of mine. Put Jesus' name for mine and suddenly it is not only not absurd, but becomes real and life-giving. This points us to realize that love is about Jesus and not about us. If you are a Christian, then the love of God has been poured out in your heart through the Holy Spirit who was given to you. (Romans 5:5)

This passage is not a command, but rather a description of the fruit of love--perfectly consistent fruit. The command, which comes 6 verses later (in 14:1), is: pursue love. We all are called to not resist this love which is in our hearts. In the moment that you are pursuing love, the fruit of love flows out of you like a mighty river and you look like the above.

The question is: how does a weak person like you pursue love? How do you not resist love? Is it by

• focusing on proper behavior (the above description of love), 
• will power (choosing to do the above description of love) , 
• commitment (committing to do the above description of love), 
• making vows (vowing to be like the above description of love), 
• denying your human desires and following Jesus in having only God's desire (and thus doing the description of love), 
• considering life from God's perspective, that only moral perfection is good? 

Below is Fyodor Dostoevsky's short declaration about love. I find in his statement that each word is carefully placed and each is full of meaning. Ponder each word and especially probe the word see (perceive). Also, meditate on what God intended each person to be. 

"To love a person means to see him as God intended him to be."

WHAT IS YOUR SIN TOLERANCE? GOD'S IS ZERO.

Noticing Human Failure

When you look at yourself, other people, or the world in general, how do you deal with the failure you observe? Do you get disappointed, depressed, impatient, frustrated, or even angry? What do you do with these reactions? Do you wish you could stop having them? Do you wish that the people would change so that your life wouldn't be so troubled? Have you ever tried to not care so that then you wouldn't feel so hurt?

Let's approach this situation from a different angle. We have all failed morally, and more times than we notice.  Have you ever been surprised at your failure, wondering how you could possibly have done such a terrible thing, or done it again? Have you ever wished that you had tried harder so as to have avoided failure, or at least to have not failed so greatly? Have you ever found yourself surprised at the failures of others: your wife, your children, your friends, fellow saints, or even pastors? Why were you surprised?

God Notices Human Failure

God is never surprised at your moral failings or mine. It is good for us to always love Him with our whole heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. And it is never good to compromise those standards. God always loves perfectly. Since He is responsible to resolve all issues in the moral world, He notices every violation of perfect love. Perfect love doesn't pretend sin away, but rather deals with it in a righteous way--always--and sends it away. Read about the first failing of our first parents and see if you can notice any surprise, impatience, frustration, or anger on God's part. It isn't there. Adam and Eve sinned and hid in fear from God. But God didn't hesitate to draw close to them. He went to them and spoke to them like a kind father to bless them with words of a promise of hope, even while explaining the curse resulting from their sin. Have you ever wondered why God did not seem bothered by their sin? I suggest that it is because God's goodness is full of surprises and that this is the biggest surprise.

All Sin Converges at the Cross

All the sin committed from Adam to the cross was left unresolved by God in anticipation of the cross. God saw this from before the creation of the universe (1Peter 1:17-23) and desired to reveal His goodness in a glorious way. Read closely Paul's declaration in Romans 3:24-26 that God passed over ALL sin in order to reveal His righteousness at the proper time--at the cross. Notice that God both is righteous and makes righteous all who are persuaded that Christ's faithfulness is their only hope. David killing Goliath didn't reveal the seriousness of Goliath's mockery of God. The flood didn't reveal the seriousness of the world's sin. Sodom being consumed by fire from heaven didn't reveal the truth about their sin. Certainly these events hinted that sin was terrible, but only the cross reveals the seriousness of sin. The cross reveals that only the death of God Himself can overcome sin. Read Romans 1:32 in several translations and notice that God has written into the conscience of every person that every sin deserves death. Paul declared earlier in the chapter (verse 18) that we humans suppress that knowledge. Today we live in the light of the cross, looking to Christ as the one who 1) in His death and resurrection is our freedom, peace, and satisfaction in a broken world, and 2) in His future coming to bring physical recreation and make public to all His good judgment--that goodness is a seamless whole, that violation of it deserves death, that He gladly took the death all people deserve, that He offered as a gift life in goodness free from the pressure of personal performance, and that those who rejected His goodness will receive the full weight of His good judgment on their self-righteousness.

God is not Surprised at Human Failure

Notice the theme in the following three passages from Isaiah. "Lord, you will establish peace for us, since you have also performed for us all our work." -26:12 "The Lord is well-pleased for His righteousness' sake; He will exalt the law and make it glorious." -42:21 "By his knowledge my righteous servant will make many righteous, for he will bear away their transgressions." -53:11 Here it is again 100 years later in Jeremiah 31:14: "'I will fill the soul of the priests with abundance, and My people will be satisfied with My goodness,' declares the Lord." God is not surprised at human failure because He delights to be the provider of all we need. He has made His goodness to be our satisfaction. If God thinks this way how could He possibly be disappointed or surprised by human failure?

  

Your Surprise at Human Failure

Your surprise at human moral failing results from only one thing: not viewing the world in a good way--through perfect love--through the goodness of God being the satisfaction for His people. If you are a Christian, then God has declared for all time that His goodness is your satisfaction. Do you see how all encompassing that is? When you fail and get upset at your failure, you have two problems. When you see a fellow saint fail and you get upset about it, you simply have more of those same two problems. If you see a non-Christian fail and you get upset about it, you have those same two problems nuanced from a different angle. Here are the two problems.

Both problems are related to forgetfulness. First, God is not a God of second chances. Rather, He is the God of one chance and a new creation. If you had a zero tolerance for sin like God does, and you never forgot this principle, then you would never get upset with anyone who sins, no matter how great the violation. You may wonder at this point, "Then why is God's anger mentioned so often in the Old Testament?"  I plan to write on this topic, but for now would suggest two teaser questions.  In my observation the first mention of God's anger or wrath is toward Moses at the burning bush--2500+ years after Adam. I suggest that there is a surprise in the larger context that helps answer the first question: Why was God angry at Moses? I suggest that there is one event during Moses lifetime that precipitates the regular expression of God's anger that continues all the way through Jesus' preaching. What is that event? Notice the expressions of anger and work backwards in context to the point at which they disappear. 

Back to forgetfulness. it is a big deal--far bigger that we tend to think. Again, if you are a Christian, then God's goodness is your satisfaction. The only reason that you would not have an active experience of this satisfaction is because of your forgetfulness. You entered into the beauty of that satisfaction at conversion and have been called to grow in the understanding of it and remembrance of it. When you observe sin in self or others, the pressure is on to forget or get distracted from that true satisfaction. Certainly it is wrong for any person to do evil. But there is no satisfaction from God's view in a person stopping or not doing a specific evil action. The alternative to doing one evil action isn't doing that one thing right, rather it is doing all things right--perfectly right. Learning and remembering this is the spiritual battle. You get upset at sin because you forget that God has a zero tolerance for sin, and you forget that the goodness of God is your satisfaction, the satisfaction of all other saints, and the only hope for satisfaction for all non-Christians. The world preaches a counterfeit satisfaction, but God never honors that pretense. 

The Surprise of Grace

What is the opposite of grace? Is it some form of unkindness, meanness, or harshness? I suggest that the surprising and simple opposite of grace is law. The world sees grace as some form of niceness, kindness, or a second chance to be a better person. But heaven sees grace as total freedom from law--the obligation to do what is right. Even more surprising is the realization that to live in grace does not mean living free from performance, but rather living in the performance of Christ free from the pressure of personal performance. Living in grace is not living in a vacuum of no performance. That would be like buying a pet fish and laying it on the counter. A person rather puts the fish in a fish bowl full of water. A Christian is designed to swim and thrive in the performance of Christ. The performance of Christ is simultaneously a zero tolerance for sin and a full satisfaction in the goodness of God. Therefore, while you are mindful that you live in the performance of Christ, out of you flows a zero tolerance for sin and full satisfaction in the goodness of God--no matter how much people around fail. Mindfulness is the issue. When your mind is in the right place then your behavior and attitude will be in the right place. Practice setting your mind in the right place--on the performance of Christ in both of its aspects--and realize that your temptation is always to be distracted from that vision, and you might find yourself enjoying other people while they fail--even while they are mistreating you.   

Goodness includes both zero tolerance for sin and full satisfaction in the goodness of God. If we Christians embraced God's vision we might just be the happiest people on the planet.

THE KEY TO EVERYTHING by Norman Grub

A Book Recommendation

"Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it." 

-George Bernard Shaw, atheist British playwright

The world and the devil seek to persuade us that Christianity is all about activity--being a good person by keeping the rules of life and by enforcing those rules on other people. When we buy that lie we bear ugly fruit, as indicated by the sarcasm of the famous atheist above. But Christianity is the life of God coming down from heaven and manifesting itself in the death and resurrection of Jesus the Messiah.  That life then was poured out into this world at Pentecost, filling God's people who had embraced the way of unmerited favor. Once in the way, we Christians can easily get distracted from the simplicity that is in Christ (2Cor 11:3). Christianity is simply the life of Christ overflowing from saints (those in Christ) as they fix their vision on Christ, the source of perfect love. This overflow creates community--a beautiful community of the love (righteousness and compassion) of Christ. 

The Key to Everything by Norman Grubb, is about this topic and points out hindrances to recognize. We are all born gripped with the conceit of self and need to learn to see past that conceit to Christ our life.  I read this short, simple, and practical book twenty years ago to my great blessing and then gave away 100+ copies. In re-reading it recently I found the blessing to be even more invigorating and refreshing than I had remembered it to be the first time. Here is one excerpt.

"Once you have seen that [Christ in you as your inspiration], you see that He is the illimitable One.
Then you relax and say, 'That is what life is: Another living His life in me.'
You've got the key to everything.
Every problem becomes an opportunity.
Every tough spot becomes a chance to enjoy the luxury of seeing Him deliver us out of it.
And you welcome such spots." pp. 31-32 in 1999 edition

Do you want to get to the place where this excerpt describes your experience? Your relatives, friends, and co-workers certainly would be blessed if you did. Why not read this book, take some simple steps forward, and bless those around you? It can't hurt anything except your pride.

The book retails for $4.99 or can be read online here: 
http://www.unionlife.org/KeyToEverything.htm

CLCPUBLICATIONS.COM

GRACE IN MARRIAGE IS A MATTER OF VISION

“To Love a Person Means to See Him as God Intended Him to be.”

--Fyodor Dostoevsky

The Message spoken by Brad Scheelke 
at the bilingual wedding of Caleb Wardell and Indira Garrido

July 25, 2015
The translation into Spanish by Betsy Caseres follows at the end.

Welcome Friends and family,

Caleb and Indira are very pleased that you have joined them in their wedding celebration. They have asked me to speak words of blessing and remembrance to them about the type of marriage that our good God has created. Caleb, Indira and I have had wonderful times talking about God’s welcome of weak and helpless sinners and of his perfect Son Jesus as our only hope. They both want to begin their marriage confessing to all and to each other, that the love of God is the center of their relationship. They are very much in love with each other, but they are very aware that at their best they are weak and desperately needy. 

Fortunately our God is mighty and has promised His abundant strength to them when they see each other through His eyes of grace. They want you to listen in as I share with them some words of God’s vision of marriage. Feel free to make application to yourself.

First let’s thank God for the blessing of today.

Father in heaven, thank you for creating marriage to be a good and delightful blessing to all people. Thank you for making the finished work of your Son on the cross to be the solid foundation for us to stand on together through all the joys and trials of life. Please give us today a little bigger vision of your great love for weak and helpless people as we ponder together your love as the center of a good marriage. Thank you for this opportunity to celebrate your goodness in marriage today. In Jesus Christ we pray. Amen.

Caleb, Indira and friends please sit down and be comfortable as you listen to my words.

Caleb and Indira, it is with great joy that I remind you of three simple steps forward to thrive in your relationship with God, with each other, and with all others you will meet. These simple steps will fill your hearts with delight and make your home a place of peace where people will long to visit.

The first step is to remember that God is good, God is love, and God loves community. God loves you both very much. He delights in you. He always smiles down on you. He cares for you and has promised that to you as His dear children, all things work out together for good. This is easy to see on such a festive day as today. We are all happy and you are both at your best. But this is also true when you mistreat each other or when your friends neglect or mistreat you. God’s love is a one way love. He loves without requiring anything in response. That part is not too difficult to grasp. But the real surprise is that God is a God of community. Remember back years ago when you both realized that you were helpless sinners and that God delighted to save you by the blood of Christ on the cross, through faith alone, and without any personal works by you.

You were likely absorbed in your own private desires to be free from judgement and to be welcomed by God. When you realized this good news and took the gift of life, God freed you and welcomed you by taking you out of the kingdom of darkness and putting you into His kingdom of light. You were no longer trapped and alone in your sin. You were now in the fellowship of the forgiven. His kingdom is about community, about being together in His one way love. What a surprise it is that His community is all about remembering together and celebrating together the source of that community. That source is like a beautiful fountain that grows in beauty the more we ponder it. Since the community is not about each of you individually, but rather about God, it is good for you both to learn to see with God’s eyes. God has given you marriage as a good way for you to learn community together, and to see with the eyes of God.

I suggest that for weak people the way to learn to see consistently with God’s eyes is to think and speak what he thinks and speaks. Do that by gladly reminding each other of what God declares to be true about you both. Talk about it with friends. And maybe easiest of all is to talk to God about it as often as you desire.

Caleb, I encourage you today to take a small step forward and thank God often for what He thinks of Indira. Her identity is beautiful in God’s sight, even when she behaves like a sinner. While she is failing, God sees her as fully righteous and fully forgiven. He always smiles on her and will never count her evil actions against her. The smallest evil deed she does deserves death, but aren’t you glad that Jesus died in her place so that she can be free from the pressure to be perfect. It is your job as the husband to take this first step. Become an expert at this step of thankfulness. When you notice Indira fail, be quick to smile and remind her of how God sees her. Gentle reminders like this often lead to happy honest confessions.

And Indira, Caleb is a man and we men seem to specialize in being insensitive and forgetful. In those moments, will you see him as God does—as always fully righteous, fully forgiven, and gladly

welcomed? I suggest that you prepare your mind for action and take this same small step of thanking God often for the riches Caleb has in Christ. This step seems so small. How could it really be valuable? Let’s remember that God has declared that in His community, transformation comes simply by renewing our minds to the goodness of God, to perfect love.

The second small step is to realize that no matter how hard you try you cannot convince God to change His mind about how he runs His kingdom. He has declared that perfect love is the only good way to think about self and others. This is the key of knowledge. Thinking this way will give you the wisdom you need to respond to each other in love and grace when the other has failed you, or when you are the one who has failed. Thinking this way will also teach you to laugh at yourselves in your failures.

Caleb, God calls Indira to be a perfect wife. She should honor and respect you perfectly. She should be perfectly patient with you when you are late or complaining. That is a lot of pressure on a wife. Do you honestly think that she is going to succeed? Aren’t you glad that Christ died the death she deserved so that she doesn’t have to be perfect? Aren’t you glad that Christ has freed her from all that pressure? Since Christ is her perfection, Indira is free to love you as much as she wants. There is no pressure. The more she remembers God’s love for her at the cross, and the more freedom she feels from you, then the more love she will give you.

Here is a small practical step to help you deal with your bad reactions to her failures. When you notice Indira fail in some way, say out loud to yourself something like this: “Hey God, she shouldn’t have done that. She should have been perfect.” When you do this, you will find yourself laughing for forgetting perfect love and for becoming judgmental. You also will be glad that you are both together in the fellowship of the forgiven.

And for you Indira, realize that God requires Caleb to be a perfect husband. He should always be

tender, patient, sensitive, understanding, gentle, and encouraging, even when you are worried, tired, or angry at him. That is a lot of pressure on him. Do you think that he is going to succeed at being perfect? Aren’t you glad that Jesus gave Caleb the gift of perfection? Aren’t you glad that Jesus carries all the pressure for Caleb? So when you notice him fail, or you notice that you are upset at him because he was insensitive or impatient, take the same small step. Say aloud to yourself something like this: “You know God, Caleb shouldn’t have been angry with me, he should have been perfect.” When you do this, you will sense God smiling down on you and telling you that He loves you. And you will laugh at yourself for being so silly as to forget that Jesus took care of all Caleb’s failures already by dying for him on the cross.

Let’s be honest and real here. There is no chance for either of you, or for me, or for anyone else to be perfect. We have all already failed. Remember what an author we appreciate said. “Failure is not a virtue. Failure is a fact. Honesty about failure is a virtue.” This little step above is really all about helping us think more honestly, clearly and consistently about perfect love and the finished work of Christ as our only hope every second every day.

The third small step is to remember that perfect love is sufficient motivation to love each other well, and that forgetting perfect love is the cause of all sin. The devil and the world want to ruin your marriage by getting you to forget your identity in Christ. The world wants you to forget that you are both weak, and to forget that your only strength is in remembering who you are in Christ. They want you to accuse each other for failure and to pressure each other to improve. But God has called you to support and defend each other in your weakness by gently and gladly reminding each other of Christ’s work as all you need every minute every day, no matter how much you fail. God delights in you in your failure because of the blood of Christ. Learn to delight in each other for that same reason.

In summary, I suggest that you become experts at thanking God often for the riches that each of you have in Christ. Become experts at remembering that only perfect obedience pleases God and therefore the finished work of Christ is the only hope for pleasing God in your marriage. Become experts at seeing each other’s failures through the eyes of Christ so that your delight not be quenched. Joyfully remind each other of these things and thank the other for the reminder. This will keep the needed reminders coming.

Friends and family, Caleb and Indira invite you into close relationship with them. They desire to share life with you and enjoy together the finished work of Christ as the center of God’s community of one way love. Feel free to remind them as often as you like that only perfect obedience counts with God. And especially remind them of the riches they have in Christ. They freely admit their weakness and need of help from you. Let’s join them in taking these small steps together as they walk hand in hand for as many years as the Lord may grant them.

To them and you I leave these beautiful words of Dostoevsky, the Russian novelist. “To love a person means to see him as God intended him to be.”

Let’s celebrate!

"Amar a una persona significa verlo como Dios pretendió que fuera."

--Fyodor Dostoevsky

El mensaje hablado por Brad Scheelke

en la boda de

Caleb Wardell e Indira Garrido

25 de julio 2015

Bienvenidos Amigos y familiares,  

Caleb y Indira están muy complacidos de que ustedes los hayan acompañado en la celebración de su boda.   Ellos me han pedido que comparta palabras de bendición y que les ayuden a recordar acerca del tipo de matrimonio que nuestro buen Dios ha creado.  Caleb, Indira y yo hemos tenido momentos maravillosos hablando acerca de cómo Dios recibe a pecadores débiles e indefensos,  y de su perfecto Hijo Jesús  como nuestra única esperanza.   Ambos quieren comenzar su matrimonio confesando a todos  y el uno al otro, que el amor de Dios es el centro de su relación.   Ellos están muy enamorados el uno del otro, pero son muy conscientes de que en su mejor momento son débiles y desesperadamente necesitados.   Afortunadamente nuestro Dios es poderoso y ha prometido su abundante fuerza a ellos cuando ellos se ven el uno al otro a través de sus ojos de gracia.   Ellos quieren que ustedes escuchen mientras yo comparto con ellos algunas palabras de la visión que tiene Dios del matrimonio.   Siéntanse libre de hacer la aplicación para ustedes mismos.  

Primero vamos a dar gracias a Dios por la bendición de hoy.  

Padre celestial, gracias por crear el matrimonio para que  sea una bendición buena y agradable para todas las personas.   Gracias por crear la obra terminada de tu Hijo en la cruz para que sea la base sólida para que permanezcamos juntos  en los momentos de alegría y también en las pruebas de la vida.   Por favor, danos hoy una visión un poco más grande de tu gran amor por los débiles e indefensos mientras reflexionamos juntos sobre tu amor como el centro de un buen matrimonio.   Gracias por esta oportunidad de celebrar tu bondad en el matrimonio hoy.   En Jesucristo oramos. Amén.  

Caleb, Indira y amigos favor de tomar asiento y pónganse cómodos mientras escuchan mis palabras.  

Caleb y Indira, es con gran alegría que les quiero recordar de tres simples pasos adelante para prosperar en su relación con Dios, el uno con el otro, y con todos los demás que ustedes conocerán.   Estos pasos simples llenaran sus corazones de deleite y harán de su hogar un lugar de paz el cual las personas desearan visitar.  

El primer paso es recordar que Dios es bueno, Dios es amor, y Dios ama la comunidad.   Dios los ama mucho.  El se deleita en ustedes.   Siempre les está sonriendo.   Él tiene cuidado de ustedes y ha prometido que a ustedes como sus queridos hijos, todas las cosas les ayudan a bien.   Esto es fácil de ver en un día tan festivo como hoy.   Estamos todos felices y ustedes dos están en su mejor momento.   Pero esto también es cierto cuando ustedes se maltratan el uno al otro, o cuando sus amigos los descuidan o maltratan.   El amor de Dios es un amor de una via.   Él ama sin exigir nada en respuesta.   Esa parte no es demasiado difícil de entender.   Pero la verdadera sorpresa es que Dios es un Dios de comunidad.   Recuerden hace años cuando los dos se dieron cuenta de que eran pecadores desamparados y que Dios se deleitó en salvarlos por la sangre de Cristo en la cruz, por fe solamente, y sin ningún tipo de trabajo personal que ustedes hayan hecho.  

Probablemente estaban absorbidos en sus propios deseos privados de estar libres de juicio y de ser recibidos por Dios.   Cuando se dieron cuenta de esta buena noticia y tomaron el regalo de la vida, Dios los libero y los recibió, llevándolos desde el reino de las tinieblas y trasladándolos al el reino de la luz.   Entonces ya no estaban mas atrapados y solos en su pecado.   Si no que ahora ya están en comunión con los perdonados.   Su reino es acerca de comunidad, se trata de estar juntos en su amor de una via.   Qué sorpresa es que su comunidad se trata de recordar juntos y celebrar juntos la fuente de esa comunidad.   Esa fuente es como un hermoso manantial que crece en belleza mientras más lo contemplamos.  Y como la comunidad no se trata de cada uno de ustedes individualmente, sino de Dios, que es bueno que ustedes aprendan a ver con los ojos de Dios.   Dios les ha dado el matrimonio como una buena manera para que ustedes aprendan sobre la comunidad juntos, y a ver con los ojos de Dios.  

Yo sugiero que para las personas débiles la manera de aprender a ver constantemente con los ojos de Dios es pensar y hablar lo que piensan y hablan.   Hagan eso recordándose alegremente el uno al otro lo que Dios declara como verdad acerca de ustedes dos.   Hablenlo con amigos.   Y tal vez más lo fácil de todo es hablar con Dios acerca esto tantas veces como ustedes lo deseen.  

Caleb, te animo hoy para tomar un pequeño paso adelante y darle gracias a Dios a menudo por lo que Él piensa de Indira.   Su identidad es preciosa a los ojos de Dios, aun cuando ella se comporta como una pecadora.   Mientras ella está fallando, Dios la ve como justa totalmente y totalmente perdonada.   El siempre le sonríe  a ella y nunca va a contar sus malas acciones en su contra.   La mas pequeña mala acción que ella hace merece la muerte, pero no estas tu contento de que Jesús murió en su lugar para que ella pueda ser libre de la presión de ser perfecta.   Es tu trabajo como el marido de tomar este primer paso.   Conviértete en un experto en este paso de agradecimiento.   Cuando notes a Indira fallar, se rápido para sonreír y recordarle de cómo Dios la ve.   Recordatorios amables como éste a menudo conducen a confesiones honestas felices.

Y a ti Indira, Caleb es un hombre, y nosotros  los hombres parecemos especializarnos en ser insensibles y olvidadizos.   En esos momentos, ¿Lo veras como Dios lo ve, como totalmente justo, totalmente perdonado, y felizmente recibido?   Yo te Sugiero que prepares tu mente para la acción y que tomes este mismo pequeño paso de agradecer a Dios a menudo por las riquezas Caleb tiene en Cristo.   Este paso parece tan pequeño.   Como podía ser realmente valioso?   Recordemos que Dios ha declarado que en su comunidad, la transformación viene simplemente renovando nuestras mentes a la bondad de Dios, al amor perfecto.  

El segundo paso pequeño es darse cuenta de que no importa cuánto lo intentes no puedes convencer a Dios de cambiar de opinión acerca de cómo el ejecuta su reino.   Él ha declarado que el amor perfecto es la única buena manera de pensar acerca de uno mismo y de los demás.   Esta es la clave del conocimiento.   Pensar de esta manera les dará la sabiduría que necesitan para responder el uno al otro en  amor y  gracia cuando el otro te ha fallado, o cuando tu eres el que ha fallado.   Pensar de esta manera también les enseñará a reírse de sí mismos en sus fracasos.  

Caleb, Dios llama a Indira ser una esposa perfecta.   Ella debe honrarte y respetarte a la perfectamente.   Ella debe ser perfectamente paciente contigo cuando llegas tarde o cuando te quejas.   Eso es mucha presión sobre una mujer.   ¿Crees honestamente que ella tendrá éxito en esto?   ¿No estás contento de que Cristo murió la muerte que ella merecía para que así ella no tenga que ser perfecta?   No te alegras de que Cristo la ha liberado de toda esa presión?   Porque Cristo es su perfección, Indira es libre de amarte tanto como ella quiera.   No hay ninguna presión.   Cuanto más ella recuerda el amor de Dios por ella en la cruz, y la mayor libertad ella siente de ti, entonces más amor ella te dará.  

He aquí un pequeño paso práctico para ayudarlos a lidiar con tus malas reacciones a sus fracasos.   Cuando notes a Indira fallar de alguna manera, di en voz alta algo como esto: "Oye Dios, ella no debió haber hecho eso. Ella debió haber sido perfecta. "  Cuando hagas esto, te encontrarás a ti mismo riéndote por olvidar el amor perfecto y haberte vuelto crítico.   También estarás contento de que ustedes están juntos en la compañía de los perdonados.  

Y para ti Indira, date cuenta de que Dios le requiere a Caleb ser un marido perfecto.   Él siempre debe de ser tierno, paciente, sensible, comprensivo, amable y alentador, incluso cuando estás preocupada, cansada o enojada con él.   Eso es  mucha presión sobre él.   ¿Crees que el va a tener éxito en ser perfecto?   No te alegras de que Jesús dio a Caleb el don de la perfección?   No te alegras de que Jesús carga toda la presión de Caleb?   Así que cuando notes que el te falla, o notas  que estás molesta con él porque él fue insensible o impaciente, toma el mismo pequeño paso.   Di en voz alta algo como esto: "Tu sabes Dios, Caleb no debió haberse enojado conmigo, él debió haber sido perfecto."   Cuando hagas esto,  sentirás a Dios sonriéndote y diciéndote que Él te ama.   y te reiras de ti misma por haber sido tan tonta como para olvidar que Jesús ya se hizo cargo de todos los fracasos de Caleb al morir por él en la cruz.  

Seamos honestos y reales aquí.   No hay ningún chance de que ninguno de ustedes, o yo,  de que cualquier otra persona  sea perfecta.   Todos nosotros ya hemos fallado.   Recuerde lo que un autor apreciamos dijo.   "El fracaso no es una virtud. El fracaso es un hecho. La honestidad sobre el fracaso es una virtud. "  Este pequeño paso anterior es realmente acerca de ayudarnos a pensar  de manera más honesta, clara y consistente sobre el amor perfecto y la obra terminada de Cristo como nuestra única esperanza cada segundo de cada día.  

El tercer pequeño paso es recordar que el amor perfecto es suficiente motivación para amarse el uno al otro de buena manera, y que olvidar el amor perfecto es la causa de todo pecado.   El diablo y el mundo quieren arruinar su matrimonio haciéndolos olvidar su identidad en Cristo.   El mundo  quiere, que se olviden de que ambos son débiles, y que olviden que su única fuerza está en recordar quiénes son en Cristo.   Quieren que  se acusen mutuamente por los fracasos y presionarlos a mejorar.   Pero Dios los ha llamado a apoyarse y defenderse el uno al otro en sus debilidades a recordándose amable y felizmente el uno al otro la obra de Cristo como todo lo que ustedes necesitan cada minuto de cada día, no importa lo mucho que fallen.   Dios se deleita en ustedes en medio de su fracaso por causa de la sangre de Cristo.   Aprendan a deleitarse el uno con el otro por la misma razón.  

En resumen,  les sugiero que se conviertan en expertos en dar gracias a Dios a menudo por las riquezas que cada uno de ustedes tienen en Cristo.   conviértanse en expertos en recordar que sólo la obediencia perfecta agrada a Dios y por lo tanto la obra terminada de Cristo es la única esperanza de agradar a Dios en su matrimonio.   conviértanse en expertos en ver los fallos del otro a través de los ojos de Cristo para que su deleite no se apague.   Con alegría ayuden al otro a recordar estas cosas y agradezca al otro por recordarle.   Esto mantendrá llegando los recordatorios que necesitamos.  

Amigos y familia, Caleb e Indira les invitan a tener una estrecha relación con ellos.  Ellos desean compartir la vida con ustedes y disfrutar juntos la obra terminada de Cristo como el centro de la comunidad de Dios del amor de una vía.   Siéntanse libres para recordarles tan a menudo como quieran que la obediencia perfecta es la única que cuenta con Dios.   Y especialmente recuérdenles sobre las riquezas que tienen en Cristo.   Ellos libremente admiten su debilidad y la necesidad  ayuda de ustedes.   Acompañémoslos a tomar estos pequeños pasos juntos, mientras que ellos caminan de la mano por tantos años como el Señor les conceda.  

A ellos y a ustedes les dejo estas hermosas palabras de Dostoievski, el novelista ruso.   "Amar a una persona significa verlo como Dios pretendió que fuera."  

¡celebremos!