WHAT IS YOUR ADDICTION? HERE IS MINE.

True or False...

1.  I have blind spots.

2.  It is not good for me to have them.

3.  Blind spots lead me into confusion.

4.  It is not good for me to be apathetic about my blind spots.

5.  I can't see them and need your help.

6.  It is good for me to be glad for your help.

7.  It is good for me to want, welcome, invite and pray for this help.

8.  I am addicted to minimizing the seriousness of my blind spots.

9.  All humans are like I am on the above 8 points.

10. I am on a high energy search to discover my blind spots.

Are you with me on number 10?

Do you want to be honest about your addiction?

If you are interested in being honest about your blind spots, and becoming sensitive to your addiction to minimizing them, then I suggest a simple starting point for application. This will be painful to your pride but a real blessing to the people around you. Pray regularly variations of the following. The following is a bit long for effect, but short pieces of conversation with God are good. There is no need to be formal; simply talk to God as if he were right next to you. The point is to learn to become sensitive to you weakness and need for community--for God and others. Notice as you read the following if you hear a voice telling you that you don't really need this. 

"Father, thank you that Jesus is all my righteousness, holiness and wisdom. Thank you that Jesus has carried all my condemnation, shame and guilt. Thank you that my weakness is the place where your strength is made perfect. Thank you that Jesus is my new identity and that I don't need to pretend to be someone that I am not.  Thank you for helping me realize that it is not good for me to have blind spots because they lead me into confusion. Thank you that you are always with me even when I get tricked by my pride into confusion. Thank you for giving me other people to remind me of your goodness and to help me notice my blind spots. Thank you that critics are always good for me to help me discover more of my blind spots or to reveal my defensiveness or other character flaws. Thank you that critics are good for me even when they have a bad attitude or are completely wrong. 

"Thank you that you are my defender and you don't need my help. Thank you for declaring in the scriptures that a wise person always responds in love toward critics, even harsh ones, and that it is fools who have bad reactions. I admit that I am addicted to minimizing the seriousness of my blind spots. It seems that I often would rather be a fool than a wise person and would rather mistreat a person Christ died for than to doubt my own virtue or rightness. You have sent me saints to help me grow in wisdom and I have many times mocked them in telling them that they didn't need to remind me. I have many times been irritated or angry at your dear saints for criticizing me, even the ones I realized later had valid criticism. This is not good and is a huge blind spot. Thank you that even when I mistreat people you value highly, you never condemn me, shake your finger at me or stop rejoicing over me in Christ. Even when the critic is wrong, a wise person would have listened closely and been glad and thankful that the person cared enough to offer help, and risk getting rejected. Thank you for being patient with me and not treating me like I treat others. Thank you that you don't keep score on my critics even though I too often do. I wonder if some people have given up on offering me insight because I have been so dismissive or irritated toward them in the past. I am concerned about the blind spots of other people, and get critical that they don't seem to want to be honest about them. So why am I so insensitive about my own blind spots? Do I think I am above correction, or am I just afraid of admitting that I am weak and need other people? This is a big problem in my life and is hindering my relationship with others. 

"Please bring me some critics to help me notice some blind spots and especially to help me become sensitive to my prideful defensiveness about my blind spots. And please bring me one friend whom I can trust to be gentle so that I can invite that person to point out my blind spots. I would like to start slow, so please be gentle with me. But if I am so prideful that gentleness won't work, then please do whatever it takes to soften my heart. Thank you that your ways are always good. In Jesus Christ I pray. Amen."  

Questions for reflection

• Can you remember a time when you attempted to offer someone a gentle suggestion and the person responded in a defensive way?
• Did you appreciate that defensive reaction? Did you think it was good?
• How did it affect you?
• Think back to a recent time that someone criticized you. Did you welcome the criticism as an opportunity to grow in understanding? Or did you react defensively as if it were a threat to your security or rightness?
• Would that critic tell me that he felt warmly welcomed when offering you his criticism?
• Would that critic tell me that you made it easy or difficult for him to offer his insight?
• Think back again, but this time as long ago as it takes to a time when you invited someone to offer you an insight or an opinion. Notice if you can even remember having this experience.
• Can you remember asking a person for their criticism, insight or opinion when you were confident the person was going to disagree with you or point out your weakness?

Self-honesty is the point of these questions. Likely only God heard your answers. We all have room to grow in this area, but I suggest we each need to come to a place of embracing our need to grow rather than remaining unaware or apathetic about that need. It is obvious that we all do need to grow, and all do grow at some pace, even if we are unaware of it. The point of this writing is that it is good to actively embrace that need and become aware of our addiction to suppressing, resisting and hindering growth in this area.

Certainly those who are close to me would appreciate me gladly inviting their suggestions, insights, and criticism and asking clarifying questions instead of resisting and hindering such conversations. As mature adults we should be able to thrive on criticism. I read somewhere recently that only children take offense; mature adults don't. What does that say about your maturity level?

THE KEY TO EVERYTHING by Norman Grub

A Book Recommendation

"Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it." 

-George Bernard Shaw, atheist British playwright

The world and the devil seek to persuade us that Christianity is all about activity--being a good person by keeping the rules of life and by enforcing those rules on other people. When we buy that lie we bear ugly fruit, as indicated by the sarcasm of the famous atheist above. But Christianity is the life of God coming down from heaven and manifesting itself in the death and resurrection of Jesus the Messiah.  That life then was poured out into this world at Pentecost, filling God's people who had embraced the way of unmerited favor. Once in the way, we Christians can easily get distracted from the simplicity that is in Christ (2Cor 11:3). Christianity is simply the life of Christ overflowing from saints (those in Christ) as they fix their vision on Christ, the source of perfect love. This overflow creates community--a beautiful community of the love (righteousness and compassion) of Christ. 

The Key to Everything by Norman Grubb, is about this topic and points out hindrances to recognize. We are all born gripped with the conceit of self and need to learn to see past that conceit to Christ our life.  I read this short, simple, and practical book twenty years ago to my great blessing and then gave away 100+ copies. In re-reading it recently I found the blessing to be even more invigorating and refreshing than I had remembered it to be the first time. Here is one excerpt.

"Once you have seen that [Christ in you as your inspiration], you see that He is the illimitable One.
Then you relax and say, 'That is what life is: Another living His life in me.'
You've got the key to everything.
Every problem becomes an opportunity.
Every tough spot becomes a chance to enjoy the luxury of seeing Him deliver us out of it.
And you welcome such spots." pp. 31-32 in 1999 edition

Do you want to get to the place where this excerpt describes your experience? Your relatives, friends, and co-workers certainly would be blessed if you did. Why not read this book, take some simple steps forward, and bless those around you? It can't hurt anything except your pride.

The book retails for $4.99 or can be read online here: 
http://www.unionlife.org/KeyToEverything.htm

CLCPUBLICATIONS.COM

HUMILITY: Is It Good? Do You Want It?

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, 
bearing with one another in love."

-Ephesians 4:2 NIV

True or false:
1) It is good to be humble.
2) It is good for you to be humble.
3) You want to be humble.
4) God wants you to be humble more that you want it yourself.
5) You want to learn humility alone and don't want God to send you helpers.
6) Number 5 is good.
7) God gives you family, friends, critics, and circumstances to reveal your need for humility.
8) It is good to realize your need to grow in humility.
9) You need to grow in humility but don't want to see your need for more humility.
10) It is good to have an initial response of thankfulness toward God and those God sends your way to help you learn this lesson.
11) Your typical initial reaction to criticism, reminders and trials is glad thankfulness.
12) You want number 11 to be true for you.
13) You are really glad that God's favor frees you from the pressure to have to be perfectly humble.

Here are two applications:
1-Admission. "If anyone would like to acquire humility, I can, I think tell him the first step.The first step is to realize that one is proud. And a biggish step, too. At least, nothing whatever can be done before it. If you think that you are not conceited, it means that you are very conceited indeed."
-CS Lewis, Mere Christianity, p 128

2-Prayer. "Dear Father in heaven, thank you freeing me from all condemnation by your favor in your son's death in my place, and calling me to see that all my weaknesses are the place where your strength is made perfect. Thank you that humility is good, but I admit that I am too weak and prideful to learn it by myself. Thank you that all my critics and trials are blessings from your hand of grace to help me see your goodness more clearly. Please send to me all the critics you think I need and on the schedule that you think best. Thank you that you will always be tender with me. In Jesus' name. Amen."

DO YOU WANT TO BE A HUMBLE CHRISTIAN?

God urges all Christians to live consistent with the gospel: "with ALL humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love." (Ephesians 4:2) This is ALWAYS God's desire for every Christian in all circumstances. Is it yours? Is it yours for you? In practice, or just in theory? How is it going? What about when you are misunderstood,neglected, or mistreated? If you are honest, you have to admit that you are a failure—just like I am.

The real question is: do you want to grow in humility? If so, C.S. Lewis would suggest that the first small step is to admit that you are prideful. He declared that no progress can happen without it—and that actually it is a big step. I suggest the second step is the key one—to compare yourself with Jesus the perfect one, instead of with other people or your own past performance. Paul declares it unwise to do the two latter things (2Cor. 10:12). When we compare ourselves to Jesus we see our failure humbly—free from prideful comparisons to others—free from the pressure to promise to change—free from self-condemnation—free to thank God for his sin-bearing love—free to change drawn by a vision of that sin-bearing love—free to change far more and far quicker than others think possible for us.