WHAT IS YOUR ADDICTION? HERE IS MINE.

True or False...

1.  I have blind spots.

2.  It is not good for me to have them.

3.  Blind spots lead me into confusion.

4.  It is not good for me to be apathetic about my blind spots.

5.  I can't see them and need your help.

6.  It is good for me to be glad for your help.

7.  It is good for me to want, welcome, invite and pray for this help.

8.  I am addicted to minimizing the seriousness of my blind spots.

9.  All humans are like I am on the above 8 points.

10. I am on a high energy search to discover my blind spots.

Are you with me on number 10?

Do you want to be honest about your addiction?

If you are interested in being honest about your blind spots, and becoming sensitive to your addiction to minimizing them, then I suggest a simple starting point for application. This will be painful to your pride but a real blessing to the people around you. Pray regularly variations of the following. The following is a bit long for effect, but short pieces of conversation with God are good. There is no need to be formal; simply talk to God as if he were right next to you. The point is to learn to become sensitive to you weakness and need for community--for God and others. Notice as you read the following if you hear a voice telling you that you don't really need this. 

"Father, thank you that Jesus is all my righteousness, holiness and wisdom. Thank you that Jesus has carried all my condemnation, shame and guilt. Thank you that my weakness is the place where your strength is made perfect. Thank you that Jesus is my new identity and that I don't need to pretend to be someone that I am not.  Thank you for helping me realize that it is not good for me to have blind spots because they lead me into confusion. Thank you that you are always with me even when I get tricked by my pride into confusion. Thank you for giving me other people to remind me of your goodness and to help me notice my blind spots. Thank you that critics are always good for me to help me discover more of my blind spots or to reveal my defensiveness or other character flaws. Thank you that critics are good for me even when they have a bad attitude or are completely wrong. 

"Thank you that you are my defender and you don't need my help. Thank you for declaring in the scriptures that a wise person always responds in love toward critics, even harsh ones, and that it is fools who have bad reactions. I admit that I am addicted to minimizing the seriousness of my blind spots. It seems that I often would rather be a fool than a wise person and would rather mistreat a person Christ died for than to doubt my own virtue or rightness. You have sent me saints to help me grow in wisdom and I have many times mocked them in telling them that they didn't need to remind me. I have many times been irritated or angry at your dear saints for criticizing me, even the ones I realized later had valid criticism. This is not good and is a huge blind spot. Thank you that even when I mistreat people you value highly, you never condemn me, shake your finger at me or stop rejoicing over me in Christ. Even when the critic is wrong, a wise person would have listened closely and been glad and thankful that the person cared enough to offer help, and risk getting rejected. Thank you for being patient with me and not treating me like I treat others. Thank you that you don't keep score on my critics even though I too often do. I wonder if some people have given up on offering me insight because I have been so dismissive or irritated toward them in the past. I am concerned about the blind spots of other people, and get critical that they don't seem to want to be honest about them. So why am I so insensitive about my own blind spots? Do I think I am above correction, or am I just afraid of admitting that I am weak and need other people? This is a big problem in my life and is hindering my relationship with others. 

"Please bring me some critics to help me notice some blind spots and especially to help me become sensitive to my prideful defensiveness about my blind spots. And please bring me one friend whom I can trust to be gentle so that I can invite that person to point out my blind spots. I would like to start slow, so please be gentle with me. But if I am so prideful that gentleness won't work, then please do whatever it takes to soften my heart. Thank you that your ways are always good. In Jesus Christ I pray. Amen."  

Questions for reflection

• Can you remember a time when you attempted to offer someone a gentle suggestion and the person responded in a defensive way?
• Did you appreciate that defensive reaction? Did you think it was good?
• How did it affect you?
• Think back to a recent time that someone criticized you. Did you welcome the criticism as an opportunity to grow in understanding? Or did you react defensively as if it were a threat to your security or rightness?
• Would that critic tell me that he felt warmly welcomed when offering you his criticism?
• Would that critic tell me that you made it easy or difficult for him to offer his insight?
• Think back again, but this time as long ago as it takes to a time when you invited someone to offer you an insight or an opinion. Notice if you can even remember having this experience.
• Can you remember asking a person for their criticism, insight or opinion when you were confident the person was going to disagree with you or point out your weakness?

Self-honesty is the point of these questions. Likely only God heard your answers. We all have room to grow in this area, but I suggest we each need to come to a place of embracing our need to grow rather than remaining unaware or apathetic about that need. It is obvious that we all do need to grow, and all do grow at some pace, even if we are unaware of it. The point of this writing is that it is good to actively embrace that need and become aware of our addiction to suppressing, resisting and hindering growth in this area.

Certainly those who are close to me would appreciate me gladly inviting their suggestions, insights, and criticism and asking clarifying questions instead of resisting and hindering such conversations. As mature adults we should be able to thrive on criticism. I read somewhere recently that only children take offense; mature adults don't. What does that say about your maturity level?

WHAT IS THE FRUIT OF BEING A CHRISTIAN?

Notes From Our Recent Seminar on Grace

This is our fourth seminar on grace. In February the topic was the flesh and Spirit conflict and how our understanding of that affects how we perceive what it means to live the Christian life. The March topic was about how the fear of the Lord fits with grace. In April the topic was the question: What is grace? Today’s topic is related to the fruit of grace. But I suggest that the fruit of grace has two aspects. And today we will look at the first aspect. The second aspect is a big subject on its own. The first aspect is about conversion. When someone becomes a Christian something radically changes. What is it and how is it visible? We Christians look for the fruit that indicates and gives confidence that someone is a real Christian. Certainly God wants us to have confidence that we are alive and free in Christ. God also wants us to be confident about the status of other people. First let’s summarize the first three seminar topics briefly to refresh our minds and and get ready for today’s question.

Review

In the first seminar we looked at the question: what is the flesh. You seemed to agree with me about the conclusion that the problem of the flesh is really all about trusting in man’s strength and wisdom and trying to avoid being weak and to avoid doing bad things. This leads right into the devil’s hands. He wants us to resist our weaknesses rather than to celebrate them. And he wants us to focus on our obedience and stumble into self-righteousness. The way of the spirit is 1) to stay aware of God’s call to always be perfect, 2) to rejoice in our weaknesses, and 3) to know that in Christ is everything a person needs. We also spoke of sin as a fruit of trusting in human ability. Maturity we described as a growing sensitivity to our weaknesses and growing confidence in Christ as all we need. Maturity also sees this as true for other people.

 Our second seminar was about how the fear of the Lord is actually the door into grace. Three good words together give us a sense of this fear: reverence, respect, and wonder. These words describe that God is good but He is not safe. Wonder conveys that He doesn’t fit in our box and is full of surprises. If we are thinking manageable thoughts about God then fear is absent. Also if we think we can manage our relationship with Him then we aren’t fearing Him. Life is precious and can end or be severely detoured at any moment by trials or critics. Are we content with that? To fear God means to be at peace realizing and trusting that no matter what comes our way He is our only hope and He is watching over us in tenderness. He is perfect love, requires perfect love, and gives it as a gift to all who rest in the finished work of Christ. When we fear God we have these thoughts not only about ourselves but about other people too. Dostoevsky put it beautifully when he wrote, “To love a person means to see him as God intended him to be.”  Do you see the door into grace?

Our third seminar was the question: What is grace? This simple question is answered by seeing the opposite of grace.  We Christians have a relationship with God of grace, which means unmerited favor. Simple, right? Our Mormon friends represent the world. They have a relationship with God that is one of merited favor. Merited favor means favor that is earned. That is pressure. The place of wisdom is for us to realize that God doesn’t mix the two. You either have a relationship with God of pure unmerited favor or pure merited favor. God keeps score perfectly: either you are totally free from the pressure of having to do good, or you are under the full pressure to have to do good all the time. The devil hates God and lies about Him all the time seeking to deceive us to go back to thinking that we have to do at least a little bit of good to get God’s full favor. Do you ever feel that pressure? Which is it? Are you under grace—unmerited favor? Or are you under law—the pressure to merit or earn God’s favor? God wants to favor everyone: either you merit his favor or Christ merits it for you. Aren’t you glad to be free from merit?

Let’s get started.

What is the Fruit of Being a Christian?

Have you heard that everyone knows about God but only a true Christian knows God personally? Likely you have used this in your style of witnessing to your Mormon friends and relatives who tell you that they are Christians too. They aren’t really Christians because they don’t really know God. But they think they do, right?

What is the difference between knowing about God and knowing God personally?

Our question today is really about the difference between the fruit of just knowing about God and the fruit of knowing God personally.  Raise you hand if you are confident that you can explain this difference clearly to someone.  Raise your hand if you feel that you could use a little help in understanding this difference more clearly. God has blessed us to live surrounded by Mormons to help us have to deal honestly with this issue. I suggest that Christians who don’t have our blessing can pretend to understand and not be challenged to think more deeply. I will tell my story about this later today. I lived here 25 years and witnessed to many Mormons before it became clear to me. 

Let’s assume that the fruit of knowing God personally is good fruit; and let’s also say that the fruit of just knowing about God is bad fruit. Raise your hand if this make sense. If this is true then we need to do two things. 1) We need to figure out what these two fruits are. 2) We need to seek to become expert fruit inspectors. This way we can be glad ministers of peace to each other and to the lost people around us that we care for.

Matthew 7:15-23—The Scary Passage

This passage is commonly explained and preached in such a way that it is threatening to Christians. As I read it aloud notice your responses or your memories from the past concerning it.

"Beware of false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, by their fruit you will recognize them.

Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you workers of lawlessness.’" –Matthew 7:15-23

Let’s be honest. Have you ever felt threatened by this passage? Did you feel a little of that just now? At the end of our time together today I am going to read it again. Then we will evaluate our responses to see if there is any change. Get ready for a surprise.

 The Mormon View

How does our Mormon culture understand and teach this passage? I want to reveal this by telling a true story. About ten years ago an old Christian woman called me and asked me to go with her to the funeral of her active Mormon friend. As we sat there the bishop got up and gave a talk. He spoke sternly and threateningly. He reminded me in appearance and in voice tone of the Marine sargeant in the television program I used to watch as a kid. Do you remember Gomer Pyle and his sargeant? That guy was always threatening people and making life miserable for everyone else. The bishop spoke of how wonderful the old woman had been and how she had done what was required to be welcomed to live with God forever. Then in his sargeant voice he pointed at and panned the audience and said that everyone was going to appear before God some day and that some or many in the audience were going to be surprised because God was going to send them away for not being like that woman and doing all that was needed. I suspected that many in the audience felt threatened. Later the stake president, the bishop's boss, got up to speak. He was a large friendly man. In his talk he spoke anxiously as he said that he hoped that when he got there he would have done as much as the old woman and would not be sent away.

What is your response to that story? Did you feel feel the heat of the bishop’s words? Didn’t he sound like he was trying to imitate Jesus in our passage? Have you ever heard Christians talk like that, especially about this passage?

About the same time a Mormon woman about 40 to whom I had witnessed before came in Oasis. As I engaged her in conversation about sin and salvation I commented on how her words were similar to what other Mormons had told me. She corrected me and said that the other Mormons didn’t really know God personally, but only knew about him. She proceeded to tell me about her good points and about the bad points of the other Mormons—especially about their pride and judgmentalism. At the end of that revealing conversation she commented that she was having a really proud day.

What was the fruit that she was inspecting to make the distinction between herself and the other Mormons—between knowing God personally and just knowing about Him? She drew a line somewhere as to how much good work was sufficient to prove she knew God and the others didn’t. Is that how we Christians do or should think?

Have you ever had a Mormon tell you that good works or good behavior are the fruit that God is looking for to show that a person really knows God?

What Was Lacking in My Understanding?

In my first 25 years in Utah, Mormons used to quote this passage to me to prove that their church was true because of its good fruit. They would explain all the good works of their church and its members and equate good works with good fruit. I would then open the Bible to this passage, show it to them, and then help them notice that it said that the fruit was perfect. I would tell them that they and I weren’t perfect and so they were wrong about what the fruit was. I would tell them that I didn’t know what it was talking about, but it was obviously not what they were saying because the fruit had to be perfect. That is the best I could do with this passage until Eli joined me in ministry 8 years ago. He first noticed what the fruit was and then shared it with me.

What is Perfect About You?

What is it about you that is perfect? If it isn’t your behavior, then what is it? Where does your behavior come from anyway? Jesus said that “out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders." We all grew up with evil hearts and needed a new heart from God. What is the good heart? Is it just behavior, having totally good behavior? That is impossible or we are all sunk.

I suggest that a good heart is all about identity. Raise you hand if before you were a Christian you thought you had at least one good point that you used to feel good about yourself? Did you ever think that you were better than somebody else? I sure did. Any confidence I had about being forgiven was about that. When the first Christian told me that forgiveness was a free gift paid for by the blood of Jesus, I opposed those words. Did you ever think like that back then?

My Story

I became a Christian as a university student 37 years ago. One day a Christian named Don knocked on my door, invited me to some event, and then later witnessed to me. I opposed Don’s words about the free gift but hung around with him and his friends. He and his friends did Bible study, had prayer meetings, were active in Church, and put high emphasis on growing in Christ and witnessing. Over the years I have spoken with many Christians who have struggled with doubts about their salvation. I have never really doubted my salvation and wondered why. Don has been a Christian missionary now for 35 years. He told me a few years ago that he had legalistic tendencies when I met him and then 20 years ago at a conference he heard a speaker talk about grace as the way to live the Christian life. Don was angered by the message, wondering if he had wasted his Christian life in the hard work of evangelism and discipleship. He complained in tears to his wife. She told him to go to his room and pray. God spoke to him that grace wasn't the absence of good works, but rather was about grace motivated and grace empowered good works.  

I wondered what Don had thought and taught in his legalistic days about the fruit to look for to know if someone was a Christian since legalists often have a serious list of things they look for. So last fall when Don visited Logan I asked him. He said that in his legalistic days he never struggled with doubts about salvation because the Bible passage he used to understand if someone was a Christian was:

"If we receive the testimony of men, the testimony of God is greater, for this is the testimony of God that he has borne concerning his Son. Whoever believes in the Son of God has the testimony in himself. Whoever does not believe God has made him a liar, because he has not believed in the testimony that God has borne concerning his Son. And this is the testimony, that God gave us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God that you may know that you have eternal life." -1John 5:9-13

Don said that if a person has the Son then the person has life and is a Christian. That is known by a person having God's testimony. He said that for him it has always been that simple. He said he never looked at other things like a changed life, but said a person's life would change in some ways. I meditated on Don's words and realized that I must have learned from Don and his friends to use that one simple test for myself and for others to know if a person was a real Christian.

Have you had other tests to know if you were a Christian? Have you heard preachers give other tests besides this simple one? What if all those other passages are really different ways of saying this same simple test? I suggest that they are. Do you have the Son? Do you have the testimony in your heart that life is in the Son and that having the Son is all you need to have eternal life? Let’s ask it in a negative way. When is the last time you told someone something such as Jesus was not enough to have eternal life because eternal life was not a free gift? I said it before I was a Christian but never once since my conversion. Raise your hand if that is true for you, too. When I ask Mormons to remember the last time they told someone that full exaltation was a free gift, they say that they have never even had the thought that it was free. They have an evil heart that trusts in having some good works in order to have eternal life.  A Christian’s testimony is perfectly good and a Mormon’s testimony is perfectly bad. Your testimony changed when you became a Christian because your heart changed. A good heart knows that it is weak and sinful and Jesus is all that is needed to be with God forever. Raise your hand if you know that.

The Jewish Leaders and Sheila

If when you get to heaven there happened to be a gate, and there happened to be an angel at the gate asking each person why entrance should be granted, what would you say? Are you going to talk like those self-righteous Jewish teachers Jesus mentioned and tell about your good works, or are you going to sound something like Sheila, a simple old woman who was unsure that she was a Christian.

Angel with a smile: Why should I let you it?

Sheila: Oh no! I am a sinner. Jesus died for me. That’s it.

Isn't it obvious from her words that Sheila is a Christian?

Raise your hand if you are like Sheila.

The fruit is your testimony that you are a helpless sinner and the Son is all that a person needs to have eternal life. 
Agreed? 

The Scary Passage Again

Listen and watch your reactions as I read Matthew 7 again.

"Beware of false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, by their fruit you will recognize them.

Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you workers of lawlessness.’" –Matthew 7:15-23

Did you feel threatened or were you glad that Jesus was enough? 
Did you at least notice having less distress?

SEEING RIGHT-SIDE UP: GRACE FOR OTHER PEOPLE

Unmerited Favor for You

If you are a Christian then you have been saved by grace (unmerited favor) through faith without any personal works. Does that make your heart sing? As a Christian you now have a relationship with God based on unmerited favor. That ought to make your heart sing, too.

Satan is Real and a Liar

Do you believe that Satan is real? I do. I think that his big lie is all about persuading and deceiving me to think that there is somehow still some merit that I need to bring to my relationship with God. I consider that to be a lie and keep alert for it, but freely admit that I have swallowed it more times than I realize. How about you? Do you agree that it is a lie? Are you alert to avoid buying it? Have you like me been tricked at times?

The Big Identity Change

I became a Christian 37 years ago. Like everyone else, I started life with an identity under the elementary principles of the world (Galatians 4:3), under the merit system of my conscience, under the law. My conscience told me to always do the right thing. I didn't; I made excuses; I blamed others; I tried to feel good about myself by comparing myself to others; I became rather proficient at looking down on others; and I saw Jesus as a lawgiver who needed to be obeyed or placated in order to obtain forgiveness from him. Can you relate to my experience? One day a Christian knocked on my door at university and told me that forgiveness was a free gift paid for by the death of Christ and offered to helpless sinners. I couldn't believe my ears. That guy was really wrong and I told him so. "You have to be good to get forgiveness, and if I am not good enough then the line behind me is really long." I laugh at that statement now as it seems rather self-righteous, but on that day I was dead serious about it. I had quit a Protestant church and become an agnostic, but still my mind and my identity were all about merit. I resisted that guy, but went with him and his friends to Bible study and church for months to prove to myself that religion was a waste of time. But they were clean cut like I was, and they liked me, in spite of my very self-righteous attitude. I was intrigued. Watching them and reading the words of Jesus for myself for the first time slowly sensitized me to the truth that Jesus is a grace-giver, not a law-giver, and won't cheapen perfection for anyone. It is like I woke up one day rejoicing that forgiveness was a gift and I had it. My identity suddenly changed; one day I was under a relationship of merit with God and life, and the next day I knew that I was free in Christ from God requiring merit from me. My testimony of God changed from one of merited favor to unmerited favor. 

The reason my testimony changed is that my identity changed. In 37 years I have never had the thought that merit was required to be with God forever. But before I was a Christian I never had the thought that such was unmerited. I have asked Mormon students if they could remember the last time that they told someone that full exaltation (being forever with God) was a free gift that didn't require any personal works. As I have pushed them to try harder to remember, they have replied in this vain: "Why would I say that since I have never even had the thought that it was free." Their testimony is merited favor because their identity is merited favor. Which is your testimony?

The Surprise of Grace as Community

When I became a Christian, my identity changed. This was personal but it was not merely personal. In the universe there are two identities as Romans 6:14 declares, "For sin shall not have dominion over you because you are not under law [merited favor] but under grace [unmerited favor]." Because of the way God created the universe, every person is born in the world under the authority of law; doing good is obligatory to avoid judgement; and favor is merited. At the creation of the universe unmerited favor existed in the heart of God but did not exist in the created universe--not until Jesus died on the cross. The conscience knew about unmerited favor but had no authority to grant it. Until the cross God had passed over sin, He had not technically forgiven it yet. (See Romans 3:25) The substitutionary death of Christ opened the door to unmerited favor, to redemption from law, which is the forgiveness of sins. (See Eph. 1:7; Col. 1:14) Fifty days later at Pentecost, God poured out His promised Spirit of righteousness on Israel, freeing it from the Old Covenant of pure merited favor and giving it the New Covenant of pure unmerited favor. Sins and transgressions would be remembered no more by God. A new community was born within the old and all in Israel were commanded to change their minds, abandon confidence in merited favor, and enter this new community of the authority of unmerited favor. Then the Samaritans were welcomed in, (See Acts 8) and finally the Gentiles were welcomed in. (See Acts 10) God intended this new community to fill the whole earth. All are born in the world, and all are called, invited, commanded, and welcomed to turn from merited favor and come into the Community of grace, of unmerited favor. 

Unmerited Favor For All Other People

Do you see these two communities and their authority--the world (merited favor) and the New Covenant gathering (unmerited favor)? Every individual is in the world, but those who God has adopted into His royal family have entered the community of unmerited favor and are not of the world because they are dead to merit with God. Satan and the world hate this new community of freedom from merit, but God delights in it as it is His community built on His love and His righteousness alone. As you relate to the people around you, do you seek to notice the identity of each and relate to each based on their identity? Or do you tend to view people based on their behavior? Are you attracted to broken people as Jesus was, longing to show them the door into the community of grace? Do you see each of those still trapped under the authority of merit as hopeless no matter how much they improve? Do you see them all--the most evil ones even--as invited into the celebration of unmerited favor? You may say that you see identity clearly, but let me offer a test of your optimism. 


Jesus saw people perfectly through their identity. He was never distracted. He saw evil behavior but always saw it in light of identity. So when He was hanging on the cross naked and in great pain, He cried out to the Father for the Father to free His persecutors from their guilt by giving it all to Him: "Father forgive them, give me all their shame and guilt." So when a fellow saint--one delighted in by God, free from all shame and guilt, and free from the pressure of merit--mistreats you in some way, what is your reaction? Have you thanked the Father for the privilege you have of carrying that burden for the other person? Think over the past years and seek to remember times of great betrayal, pain, abuse, criticism, or financial deception you suffered at the hands of another Christian. How did you respond? Did you see that person as free from the pressure of merit while he was mistreating you? If so, do you think that violator sensed a warm welcome from you to a closer relationship? Did you give that violator a piece of your mind or did you give him the peace of the cross? Contact me, give me the name of the person who badly hurt you, and let me ask that person if he felt a warm welcome from you while he was criticizing you. What do you think he will say? If you gave him a warm welcome while he was criticizing you, then he will remember it--at least in general. Why? It is very rare among us Christians to welcome criticism gladly. If you did it, it will be note worthy. Let's stop pretending and admit that good behavior on the part of other Christians is what we really care about.  

Thinking of Real Life Brings Understanding

My friend John and I talk much seeking to stir each other to understand grace more clearly. It is a great blessing. He and I had a conversation last summer that reflects the following. 

John:  Brad, I know that God always smiles on me even in the middle of me being an idiot and not treating others kindly.  When my attitude is awful and my action towards others is hurtful God still looks fondly upon me.   Even through all my badness God still likes me.  The work of Jesus on the cross is all I need for God to be pleased with me.

Brad: I am glad that is true for you and me, for your wife and mine, for your children and mine, as well as for all other Christians.

John:  As hard as it is to understand I am learning to see the truth of it and usually only get depressed when I fail and in the middle of my failure forget what Christ did for me.  It is sometimes easy to forget that even at my worst God always likes me because of His Son. The really hard part for me is seeing how it works for others who are unkind to me.  I know this sounds hypocritical, but when someone sins against me I really want God to avenge.

Brad: Don't all Christians have the same grace relationship with God that you have?

John: Of course they do, but how do I see that for them when they are mistreating me?

Brad: So while you are upset at your wife and speaking rudely to her, are you totally free and God is smiling on you and likes you?

John: Yep.

Brad: The same applies to other people. Let's say you do something wrong and your wife gets really upset with you and not only speaks rudely to you, but in revenge donates your expensive golf clubs to the thrift store. She has done a terrible thing, but while she was doing all that to you God was smiling on her and likes her all because of Christ.

John:  I understand it, but that it doesn’t mean it’s easy. I’m forgetful. However, remembering this one thing would be a game changer. It would mean never getting upset with anyone again.   

Do You Want to See Grace for Others?

If you say that you want to get a vision of grace for other people then I would suggest that you talk to God about it. Be honest in your conversation and even humorously so, if needed. God can handle honest conversation. Start where you are not where you think God wants you to be. Tell God things like:

• God what I really want is for other people to behave properly and stop making my life difficult.
• God, you want them to remember what Jesus did for them so that they will change and do good things out of thankfulness. 
• But God I don't want to wait. I am tired of carrying burdens for lazy Christians. I want them to change now.
• I am glad that you have forgiven me freely and completely because of the cross, but salvation changes people and that Christian (name him or her) isn't serious about changing.
• God, you call me to rejoice always, but do you really mean for me to rejoice while other Christians are mistreating me?
• God, you do tell me to do everything without complaining, but certainly that does't apply when I feel hurt by other Christians, does it? 
• God, you do tell me to give thanks always, but you don't know how frustrating my wife and children can be at times.
• God I am really angry that my husband gives me almost no tenderness and understanding. He treats me like his servant. He is making my life miserable. He says that he is a Christian, and so why don't you fix him? 
• God, don't you realize that M_____ keeps hurting me and deserves a piece of my mind?
• God, I am not as bad a Christian as M_____, at least I am trying to do right. Of course compared to Jesus we are both failures, but do you really want me to think so negatively?
• God, thank you for not giving me what I deserve, but giving all my guilt, shame, and condemnation to Christ. Thank you that the finished work of Christ is all I need for life. Thank you that all the Christians, especially M_____, who hurt me are completely free from condemnation, even while they are hurting me. Thank you for rejoicing over me with singing and for rejoicing in song over those who bother me.  Thank you that you really like those Christians who hurt me and even like them as much as you like me. Thank you that even though M_____ can't stand me, you fully welcome him in Christ. Thank you that Jesus was glad to carry all M____'s sin. Thank you for giving me the privilege of knowing M____ and carrying all the burdens M_____ chooses to give me. Help me remind him of how much you love him. Thank your for making all my troubles, afflictions, weaknesses, and critics to be a blessing to me. Please bring them to me whenever you think I need them. Thank you for being a tender Father and for bringing into my life only what is good for me and brings you glory. Thank you for adopting us all into your royal family and promising never to cast us out. Thank you for putting me with all the saints in your kingdom of unmerited favor where we all are free from all condemnation and all have all the treasures of heaven.

Make your prayers practical about other Christians (name them individually) you perceive to be troubling you and watch your heart open toward them. You might begin to like and enjoy them while they are mistreating you. You might even feel compassion toward them for the pain they are feeling for forgetting the cross--a forgetfulness that is the cause of their mistreatment of you. You might begin to notice their failings as God does--as hell-deserving--and notice them as God does--as righteous in Christ, fully covered by the blood, and a source of joy. Wouldn't that be a novel way to think? 

WHY DID JESUS SPEAK OF CONDITIONAL FORGIVENESS?

“For if you forgive others their sins, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 

But if you do not forgive others, your Father will not forgive you your sins." 

-Jesus, Matthew 6:14,15

Have you always perfectly forgiven, that is, never held even a tiny bit of a grudge? If not then what is your hope of getting forgiveness from God? A few verses earlier Jesus had commanded His hearers to be perfect as God is perfect. How is it going? I suggest that if you have any confidence of being forgiven by God then you must have a wonderful secret. Whether you realize it or not, you are persuaded that this verse doesn't apply to you, because unless Jesus was joking or exaggerating, none of us has any hope of being forgiven. Let's be honest about this.

So what did Jesus mean then? New questions often bring new insights. Try these.

1. Did Jesus speak these words before or after He died on the cross?
2. Did Jesus speak these words under the Old Covenant of law or the New Covenant of grace?
3. Who was Jesus' audience: Christians who have a relationship with God based on UNMERITED favor, or Jews who had a relationship with God based on law keeping and MERITED favor?
4. Did Jesus' audience see that they were helpless condemned sinners, or did they have confidence that their hard work at law keeping would gain them forgiveness and welcome with God?
5. Did Jesus preach perfect obedience to break the stubborn pride of His Jewish audience, to reveal that they were law breakers not law keepers, to reveal their need of unmerited favor, and to prepare them to take the gift of righteousness that would be revealed at Pentecost, or did He preach perfection to stir His Jewish audience to try harder and be more self-righteous?
6. Does thinking perfection (perfect love, perfect law, perfect obedience) remove all confidence in human obedience--of oneself and all others?

It is very easy to get distracted from the glory of unmerited favor.

The Surprise of reading the Bible Contextually

Did the first five questions surprise you? Last week I had a conversion with two very thoughtful women in their 30's who came in Oasis Books. I assumed that they were Mormons as nearly all non-Hispanics here are. They browsed the CS Lewis books and one made comment to the other about how easy reading Lewis was. Then for some reason one commented to her sister that if one didn't forgive fully then one would not be forgiven. I stepped into the conversation at this point and asked question number one above. The women pondered and replied with confidence that Jesus had spoken these words before the cross. Their answer piqued their own curiosity. I then asked if Jesus had spoken those words under law or under grace. They declared immediately that He had spoken them under law. Their interest grew. I asked about Jesus' audience. This matter was not as clear to them, but with a little discussion they realized that they already knew that the Jews were law focused and the leaders of Israel taught do your best and not perfect love. I suggested that perfect love was the key to life and gave my short explanation of it. They said that they had been discussing much the motivation of love and asked for more clarification and permission to record the conversation. They eventually left ecstatic about new thoughts on perfect love, including its all-encompassing application and transformative power, and a free book on grace. You can read here my short wedding sermon on perfect love in marriage.

How do you as a Christian read the words of Jesus? Do you see them as written directly to you and thus directly applicable to you? Or do you see them as spoken directly to Israel--a people under the Old Covenant of merit-based acceptance--who were not honest that the law required perfect love? If you see them in the latter way, then they have only indirect application to you. It should bring you great joy to read about perfection knowing that you are totally free from its requirements through the sin-bearing love of Christ at the cross. It should move you to thankfulness that you are free to forgive because you are already perfectly forgiven (Eph. 4:32; Col, 3:13), with no more pressure of obligation or threats for failure. It should move you to gladness toward the saints who hurt you, even while they are hurting you, since you know that they also are free from all pressure and condemnation of performance. Wow! The law is beautiful and good, but only Christ could honor it. We saints are alive in His righteousness not our own, are dead to the law, and have the motivation of perfect love. Think perfect love and you might be surprised at how much you really like your spouse and children at their worst, and the people who mistreat you while they are doing it.

The Blessing of Living in Mormon Culture

I have a huge advantage over many Christians as I live in a culture 1) with very few Christians and that is very religious, 2) that uses Christian words but with different meanings, and 3) that is merit-based-favor focused like Israel of Jesus' day. Both emphasize 1) a God of love, 2) joy in God giving a system of merit-based favor to the people or world, 3) a process of repentance (stopping sin) to overcome failure, 4) laziness as the real enemy of God, and 5) optimism in pleasing God by doing one's best. Both openly hate righteousness as a gift through the death of Christ.

Mormons really like the words of Jesus, but interpret them as if Jesus were exaggerating and not really expecting people to obey them perfectly. They see the New Covenant as an easier Old Covenant rather that a relationship of unmerited favor--total freedom from the pressure of performance. They are deeply trained to think that there are only two ways to think about God: be lazy and sin a lot, or strive to do one's best at loving everyone and keeping the commandments. It is a joy to help them discover that we all know intuitively the truth of perfect love. It is a real pleasure to introduce them to the understanding that God is truly generous, His favor is fully unmerited, and that He wants us to be in a relationship where we are free to love purely from His great love for us, with no mixing of obligations and threats. They talk much about personal righteousness, and so hearing about the gift of righteousness is a huge shock to them. But as they realize that perfection is required and that they thus are spiritual beggars, the gift of righteousness becomes a surprise beyond their wildest dreams.

Practice reading the words of Jesus in their Old Testament context and you will be ready for your next conversation with a Mormon. 
    

GRACE IN MARRIAGE IS A MATTER OF VISION

“To Love a Person Means to See Him as God Intended Him to be.”

--Fyodor Dostoevsky

The Message spoken by Brad Scheelke 
at the bilingual wedding of Caleb Wardell and Indira Garrido

July 25, 2015
The translation into Spanish by Betsy Caseres follows at the end.

Welcome Friends and family,

Caleb and Indira are very pleased that you have joined them in their wedding celebration. They have asked me to speak words of blessing and remembrance to them about the type of marriage that our good God has created. Caleb, Indira and I have had wonderful times talking about God’s welcome of weak and helpless sinners and of his perfect Son Jesus as our only hope. They both want to begin their marriage confessing to all and to each other, that the love of God is the center of their relationship. They are very much in love with each other, but they are very aware that at their best they are weak and desperately needy. 

Fortunately our God is mighty and has promised His abundant strength to them when they see each other through His eyes of grace. They want you to listen in as I share with them some words of God’s vision of marriage. Feel free to make application to yourself.

First let’s thank God for the blessing of today.

Father in heaven, thank you for creating marriage to be a good and delightful blessing to all people. Thank you for making the finished work of your Son on the cross to be the solid foundation for us to stand on together through all the joys and trials of life. Please give us today a little bigger vision of your great love for weak and helpless people as we ponder together your love as the center of a good marriage. Thank you for this opportunity to celebrate your goodness in marriage today. In Jesus Christ we pray. Amen.

Caleb, Indira and friends please sit down and be comfortable as you listen to my words.

Caleb and Indira, it is with great joy that I remind you of three simple steps forward to thrive in your relationship with God, with each other, and with all others you will meet. These simple steps will fill your hearts with delight and make your home a place of peace where people will long to visit.

The first step is to remember that God is good, God is love, and God loves community. God loves you both very much. He delights in you. He always smiles down on you. He cares for you and has promised that to you as His dear children, all things work out together for good. This is easy to see on such a festive day as today. We are all happy and you are both at your best. But this is also true when you mistreat each other or when your friends neglect or mistreat you. God’s love is a one way love. He loves without requiring anything in response. That part is not too difficult to grasp. But the real surprise is that God is a God of community. Remember back years ago when you both realized that you were helpless sinners and that God delighted to save you by the blood of Christ on the cross, through faith alone, and without any personal works by you.

You were likely absorbed in your own private desires to be free from judgement and to be welcomed by God. When you realized this good news and took the gift of life, God freed you and welcomed you by taking you out of the kingdom of darkness and putting you into His kingdom of light. You were no longer trapped and alone in your sin. You were now in the fellowship of the forgiven. His kingdom is about community, about being together in His one way love. What a surprise it is that His community is all about remembering together and celebrating together the source of that community. That source is like a beautiful fountain that grows in beauty the more we ponder it. Since the community is not about each of you individually, but rather about God, it is good for you both to learn to see with God’s eyes. God has given you marriage as a good way for you to learn community together, and to see with the eyes of God.

I suggest that for weak people the way to learn to see consistently with God’s eyes is to think and speak what he thinks and speaks. Do that by gladly reminding each other of what God declares to be true about you both. Talk about it with friends. And maybe easiest of all is to talk to God about it as often as you desire.

Caleb, I encourage you today to take a small step forward and thank God often for what He thinks of Indira. Her identity is beautiful in God’s sight, even when she behaves like a sinner. While she is failing, God sees her as fully righteous and fully forgiven. He always smiles on her and will never count her evil actions against her. The smallest evil deed she does deserves death, but aren’t you glad that Jesus died in her place so that she can be free from the pressure to be perfect. It is your job as the husband to take this first step. Become an expert at this step of thankfulness. When you notice Indira fail, be quick to smile and remind her of how God sees her. Gentle reminders like this often lead to happy honest confessions.

And Indira, Caleb is a man and we men seem to specialize in being insensitive and forgetful. In those moments, will you see him as God does—as always fully righteous, fully forgiven, and gladly

welcomed? I suggest that you prepare your mind for action and take this same small step of thanking God often for the riches Caleb has in Christ. This step seems so small. How could it really be valuable? Let’s remember that God has declared that in His community, transformation comes simply by renewing our minds to the goodness of God, to perfect love.

The second small step is to realize that no matter how hard you try you cannot convince God to change His mind about how he runs His kingdom. He has declared that perfect love is the only good way to think about self and others. This is the key of knowledge. Thinking this way will give you the wisdom you need to respond to each other in love and grace when the other has failed you, or when you are the one who has failed. Thinking this way will also teach you to laugh at yourselves in your failures.

Caleb, God calls Indira to be a perfect wife. She should honor and respect you perfectly. She should be perfectly patient with you when you are late or complaining. That is a lot of pressure on a wife. Do you honestly think that she is going to succeed? Aren’t you glad that Christ died the death she deserved so that she doesn’t have to be perfect? Aren’t you glad that Christ has freed her from all that pressure? Since Christ is her perfection, Indira is free to love you as much as she wants. There is no pressure. The more she remembers God’s love for her at the cross, and the more freedom she feels from you, then the more love she will give you.

Here is a small practical step to help you deal with your bad reactions to her failures. When you notice Indira fail in some way, say out loud to yourself something like this: “Hey God, she shouldn’t have done that. She should have been perfect.” When you do this, you will find yourself laughing for forgetting perfect love and for becoming judgmental. You also will be glad that you are both together in the fellowship of the forgiven.

And for you Indira, realize that God requires Caleb to be a perfect husband. He should always be

tender, patient, sensitive, understanding, gentle, and encouraging, even when you are worried, tired, or angry at him. That is a lot of pressure on him. Do you think that he is going to succeed at being perfect? Aren’t you glad that Jesus gave Caleb the gift of perfection? Aren’t you glad that Jesus carries all the pressure for Caleb? So when you notice him fail, or you notice that you are upset at him because he was insensitive or impatient, take the same small step. Say aloud to yourself something like this: “You know God, Caleb shouldn’t have been angry with me, he should have been perfect.” When you do this, you will sense God smiling down on you and telling you that He loves you. And you will laugh at yourself for being so silly as to forget that Jesus took care of all Caleb’s failures already by dying for him on the cross.

Let’s be honest and real here. There is no chance for either of you, or for me, or for anyone else to be perfect. We have all already failed. Remember what an author we appreciate said. “Failure is not a virtue. Failure is a fact. Honesty about failure is a virtue.” This little step above is really all about helping us think more honestly, clearly and consistently about perfect love and the finished work of Christ as our only hope every second every day.

The third small step is to remember that perfect love is sufficient motivation to love each other well, and that forgetting perfect love is the cause of all sin. The devil and the world want to ruin your marriage by getting you to forget your identity in Christ. The world wants you to forget that you are both weak, and to forget that your only strength is in remembering who you are in Christ. They want you to accuse each other for failure and to pressure each other to improve. But God has called you to support and defend each other in your weakness by gently and gladly reminding each other of Christ’s work as all you need every minute every day, no matter how much you fail. God delights in you in your failure because of the blood of Christ. Learn to delight in each other for that same reason.

In summary, I suggest that you become experts at thanking God often for the riches that each of you have in Christ. Become experts at remembering that only perfect obedience pleases God and therefore the finished work of Christ is the only hope for pleasing God in your marriage. Become experts at seeing each other’s failures through the eyes of Christ so that your delight not be quenched. Joyfully remind each other of these things and thank the other for the reminder. This will keep the needed reminders coming.

Friends and family, Caleb and Indira invite you into close relationship with them. They desire to share life with you and enjoy together the finished work of Christ as the center of God’s community of one way love. Feel free to remind them as often as you like that only perfect obedience counts with God. And especially remind them of the riches they have in Christ. They freely admit their weakness and need of help from you. Let’s join them in taking these small steps together as they walk hand in hand for as many years as the Lord may grant them.

To them and you I leave these beautiful words of Dostoevsky, the Russian novelist. “To love a person means to see him as God intended him to be.”

Let’s celebrate!

"Amar a una persona significa verlo como Dios pretendió que fuera."

--Fyodor Dostoevsky

El mensaje hablado por Brad Scheelke

en la boda de

Caleb Wardell e Indira Garrido

25 de julio 2015

Bienvenidos Amigos y familiares,  

Caleb y Indira están muy complacidos de que ustedes los hayan acompañado en la celebración de su boda.   Ellos me han pedido que comparta palabras de bendición y que les ayuden a recordar acerca del tipo de matrimonio que nuestro buen Dios ha creado.  Caleb, Indira y yo hemos tenido momentos maravillosos hablando acerca de cómo Dios recibe a pecadores débiles e indefensos,  y de su perfecto Hijo Jesús  como nuestra única esperanza.   Ambos quieren comenzar su matrimonio confesando a todos  y el uno al otro, que el amor de Dios es el centro de su relación.   Ellos están muy enamorados el uno del otro, pero son muy conscientes de que en su mejor momento son débiles y desesperadamente necesitados.   Afortunadamente nuestro Dios es poderoso y ha prometido su abundante fuerza a ellos cuando ellos se ven el uno al otro a través de sus ojos de gracia.   Ellos quieren que ustedes escuchen mientras yo comparto con ellos algunas palabras de la visión que tiene Dios del matrimonio.   Siéntanse libre de hacer la aplicación para ustedes mismos.  

Primero vamos a dar gracias a Dios por la bendición de hoy.  

Padre celestial, gracias por crear el matrimonio para que  sea una bendición buena y agradable para todas las personas.   Gracias por crear la obra terminada de tu Hijo en la cruz para que sea la base sólida para que permanezcamos juntos  en los momentos de alegría y también en las pruebas de la vida.   Por favor, danos hoy una visión un poco más grande de tu gran amor por los débiles e indefensos mientras reflexionamos juntos sobre tu amor como el centro de un buen matrimonio.   Gracias por esta oportunidad de celebrar tu bondad en el matrimonio hoy.   En Jesucristo oramos. Amén.  

Caleb, Indira y amigos favor de tomar asiento y pónganse cómodos mientras escuchan mis palabras.  

Caleb y Indira, es con gran alegría que les quiero recordar de tres simples pasos adelante para prosperar en su relación con Dios, el uno con el otro, y con todos los demás que ustedes conocerán.   Estos pasos simples llenaran sus corazones de deleite y harán de su hogar un lugar de paz el cual las personas desearan visitar.  

El primer paso es recordar que Dios es bueno, Dios es amor, y Dios ama la comunidad.   Dios los ama mucho.  El se deleita en ustedes.   Siempre les está sonriendo.   Él tiene cuidado de ustedes y ha prometido que a ustedes como sus queridos hijos, todas las cosas les ayudan a bien.   Esto es fácil de ver en un día tan festivo como hoy.   Estamos todos felices y ustedes dos están en su mejor momento.   Pero esto también es cierto cuando ustedes se maltratan el uno al otro, o cuando sus amigos los descuidan o maltratan.   El amor de Dios es un amor de una via.   Él ama sin exigir nada en respuesta.   Esa parte no es demasiado difícil de entender.   Pero la verdadera sorpresa es que Dios es un Dios de comunidad.   Recuerden hace años cuando los dos se dieron cuenta de que eran pecadores desamparados y que Dios se deleitó en salvarlos por la sangre de Cristo en la cruz, por fe solamente, y sin ningún tipo de trabajo personal que ustedes hayan hecho.  

Probablemente estaban absorbidos en sus propios deseos privados de estar libres de juicio y de ser recibidos por Dios.   Cuando se dieron cuenta de esta buena noticia y tomaron el regalo de la vida, Dios los libero y los recibió, llevándolos desde el reino de las tinieblas y trasladándolos al el reino de la luz.   Entonces ya no estaban mas atrapados y solos en su pecado.   Si no que ahora ya están en comunión con los perdonados.   Su reino es acerca de comunidad, se trata de estar juntos en su amor de una via.   Qué sorpresa es que su comunidad se trata de recordar juntos y celebrar juntos la fuente de esa comunidad.   Esa fuente es como un hermoso manantial que crece en belleza mientras más lo contemplamos.  Y como la comunidad no se trata de cada uno de ustedes individualmente, sino de Dios, que es bueno que ustedes aprendan a ver con los ojos de Dios.   Dios les ha dado el matrimonio como una buena manera para que ustedes aprendan sobre la comunidad juntos, y a ver con los ojos de Dios.  

Yo sugiero que para las personas débiles la manera de aprender a ver constantemente con los ojos de Dios es pensar y hablar lo que piensan y hablan.   Hagan eso recordándose alegremente el uno al otro lo que Dios declara como verdad acerca de ustedes dos.   Hablenlo con amigos.   Y tal vez más lo fácil de todo es hablar con Dios acerca esto tantas veces como ustedes lo deseen.  

Caleb, te animo hoy para tomar un pequeño paso adelante y darle gracias a Dios a menudo por lo que Él piensa de Indira.   Su identidad es preciosa a los ojos de Dios, aun cuando ella se comporta como una pecadora.   Mientras ella está fallando, Dios la ve como justa totalmente y totalmente perdonada.   El siempre le sonríe  a ella y nunca va a contar sus malas acciones en su contra.   La mas pequeña mala acción que ella hace merece la muerte, pero no estas tu contento de que Jesús murió en su lugar para que ella pueda ser libre de la presión de ser perfecta.   Es tu trabajo como el marido de tomar este primer paso.   Conviértete en un experto en este paso de agradecimiento.   Cuando notes a Indira fallar, se rápido para sonreír y recordarle de cómo Dios la ve.   Recordatorios amables como éste a menudo conducen a confesiones honestas felices.

Y a ti Indira, Caleb es un hombre, y nosotros  los hombres parecemos especializarnos en ser insensibles y olvidadizos.   En esos momentos, ¿Lo veras como Dios lo ve, como totalmente justo, totalmente perdonado, y felizmente recibido?   Yo te Sugiero que prepares tu mente para la acción y que tomes este mismo pequeño paso de agradecer a Dios a menudo por las riquezas Caleb tiene en Cristo.   Este paso parece tan pequeño.   Como podía ser realmente valioso?   Recordemos que Dios ha declarado que en su comunidad, la transformación viene simplemente renovando nuestras mentes a la bondad de Dios, al amor perfecto.  

El segundo paso pequeño es darse cuenta de que no importa cuánto lo intentes no puedes convencer a Dios de cambiar de opinión acerca de cómo el ejecuta su reino.   Él ha declarado que el amor perfecto es la única buena manera de pensar acerca de uno mismo y de los demás.   Esta es la clave del conocimiento.   Pensar de esta manera les dará la sabiduría que necesitan para responder el uno al otro en  amor y  gracia cuando el otro te ha fallado, o cuando tu eres el que ha fallado.   Pensar de esta manera también les enseñará a reírse de sí mismos en sus fracasos.  

Caleb, Dios llama a Indira ser una esposa perfecta.   Ella debe honrarte y respetarte a la perfectamente.   Ella debe ser perfectamente paciente contigo cuando llegas tarde o cuando te quejas.   Eso es mucha presión sobre una mujer.   ¿Crees honestamente que ella tendrá éxito en esto?   ¿No estás contento de que Cristo murió la muerte que ella merecía para que así ella no tenga que ser perfecta?   No te alegras de que Cristo la ha liberado de toda esa presión?   Porque Cristo es su perfección, Indira es libre de amarte tanto como ella quiera.   No hay ninguna presión.   Cuanto más ella recuerda el amor de Dios por ella en la cruz, y la mayor libertad ella siente de ti, entonces más amor ella te dará.  

He aquí un pequeño paso práctico para ayudarlos a lidiar con tus malas reacciones a sus fracasos.   Cuando notes a Indira fallar de alguna manera, di en voz alta algo como esto: "Oye Dios, ella no debió haber hecho eso. Ella debió haber sido perfecta. "  Cuando hagas esto, te encontrarás a ti mismo riéndote por olvidar el amor perfecto y haberte vuelto crítico.   También estarás contento de que ustedes están juntos en la compañía de los perdonados.  

Y para ti Indira, date cuenta de que Dios le requiere a Caleb ser un marido perfecto.   Él siempre debe de ser tierno, paciente, sensible, comprensivo, amable y alentador, incluso cuando estás preocupada, cansada o enojada con él.   Eso es  mucha presión sobre él.   ¿Crees que el va a tener éxito en ser perfecto?   No te alegras de que Jesús dio a Caleb el don de la perfección?   No te alegras de que Jesús carga toda la presión de Caleb?   Así que cuando notes que el te falla, o notas  que estás molesta con él porque él fue insensible o impaciente, toma el mismo pequeño paso.   Di en voz alta algo como esto: "Tu sabes Dios, Caleb no debió haberse enojado conmigo, él debió haber sido perfecto."   Cuando hagas esto,  sentirás a Dios sonriéndote y diciéndote que Él te ama.   y te reiras de ti misma por haber sido tan tonta como para olvidar que Jesús ya se hizo cargo de todos los fracasos de Caleb al morir por él en la cruz.  

Seamos honestos y reales aquí.   No hay ningún chance de que ninguno de ustedes, o yo,  de que cualquier otra persona  sea perfecta.   Todos nosotros ya hemos fallado.   Recuerde lo que un autor apreciamos dijo.   "El fracaso no es una virtud. El fracaso es un hecho. La honestidad sobre el fracaso es una virtud. "  Este pequeño paso anterior es realmente acerca de ayudarnos a pensar  de manera más honesta, clara y consistente sobre el amor perfecto y la obra terminada de Cristo como nuestra única esperanza cada segundo de cada día.  

El tercer pequeño paso es recordar que el amor perfecto es suficiente motivación para amarse el uno al otro de buena manera, y que olvidar el amor perfecto es la causa de todo pecado.   El diablo y el mundo quieren arruinar su matrimonio haciéndolos olvidar su identidad en Cristo.   El mundo  quiere, que se olviden de que ambos son débiles, y que olviden que su única fuerza está en recordar quiénes son en Cristo.   Quieren que  se acusen mutuamente por los fracasos y presionarlos a mejorar.   Pero Dios los ha llamado a apoyarse y defenderse el uno al otro en sus debilidades a recordándose amable y felizmente el uno al otro la obra de Cristo como todo lo que ustedes necesitan cada minuto de cada día, no importa lo mucho que fallen.   Dios se deleita en ustedes en medio de su fracaso por causa de la sangre de Cristo.   Aprendan a deleitarse el uno con el otro por la misma razón.  

En resumen,  les sugiero que se conviertan en expertos en dar gracias a Dios a menudo por las riquezas que cada uno de ustedes tienen en Cristo.   conviértanse en expertos en recordar que sólo la obediencia perfecta agrada a Dios y por lo tanto la obra terminada de Cristo es la única esperanza de agradar a Dios en su matrimonio.   conviértanse en expertos en ver los fallos del otro a través de los ojos de Cristo para que su deleite no se apague.   Con alegría ayuden al otro a recordar estas cosas y agradezca al otro por recordarle.   Esto mantendrá llegando los recordatorios que necesitamos.  

Amigos y familia, Caleb e Indira les invitan a tener una estrecha relación con ellos.  Ellos desean compartir la vida con ustedes y disfrutar juntos la obra terminada de Cristo como el centro de la comunidad de Dios del amor de una vía.   Siéntanse libres para recordarles tan a menudo como quieran que la obediencia perfecta es la única que cuenta con Dios.   Y especialmente recuérdenles sobre las riquezas que tienen en Cristo.   Ellos libremente admiten su debilidad y la necesidad  ayuda de ustedes.   Acompañémoslos a tomar estos pequeños pasos juntos, mientras que ellos caminan de la mano por tantos años como el Señor les conceda.  

A ellos y a ustedes les dejo estas hermosas palabras de Dostoievski, el novelista ruso.   "Amar a una persona significa verlo como Dios pretendió que fuera."  

¡celebremos!