God has a zero tolerance for sin. Every nuance of every violation of perfect love is seen by Him. If He turns a blind eye to it and has no reaction against it then He is not good. What is His reaction? "He passed over all sin to demonstrate His righteousness at the cross." (Romans 3:25f) This applies to Goliath, who mocked God and was killed by David, and to the people of Israel who died by snake bite for complaining against God. This verse reveals that the physical judgments on these people didn't really show how serious God was about sin. And this applies to all your sins and to all the sins of all those who mistreat you.
From the positive side we can say that God is perfect love and thus loves perfectly. He also requires continuous perfect love of all people, because that is what is good. How do you think I am doing? How are you doing? How are those who rub you the wrong way doing? We try to manager our own and each other's sins by the pressure of correction, criticism, reminders of failure, threats of various kinds, expressed displeasure, and more. Isn't improvement what we long to see? What does God desire to see? Perfect love.
I suggest that seeking to be my own sin manager results in self-righteousness, hypocrisy, and judgmentalism. And do you really appreciate me acting like I am your sin manager? If not, then why do you seek to be the sin manager for others? The way of freedom is not to pretend to not notice sin, but rather to point self and all others to what what God sees: perfect love required and offered as a gift in Christ. Wouldn't it be a relief when you fail, to have a friend to remind you of what Christ did for you on the cross? Then you could freely admit failure without a sense of condemnation.
I also suggest that the first step in helping others deal honestly with their failures is to admit that what we really want is for them to stop bothering us. A good second step might be a prayer of thankfulness that Jesus at the cross managed all sin and that it is a done deal for that person. Then the third step will naturally follow: to gladly point the other person to the finished work of Christ and the standard of perfect love. It might surprise us how quickly others will admit failure and the need to change in light of gazing upon their identity in perfect love.
Good thoughts. If God passed over all sin until He could demonstrate His righteousness at the cross, then how are we to understand things like Goliath's death, or even more extreme cases like Sodim or the flood? There is certainly a weigh tines there.
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